1. Have a meeting on Rodeo Drive. 2. Have a meeting in the Beverly Wilshire on Rodeo Drive.

3. Feel like Pretty Woman, only with less prostitution.

4. Set a monetary goal that feels like a stretch and meet it three weeks later.

5. Date a guy who looks like Sexy Jesus, if Jesus was a really funny texter.

6. Take control of my financial life, something that seemed a lot harder before I created the spreadsheet and just started plugging things in.

7. Realize that whatever my financial situation is - in the end, they're just numbers. Whether the number is red or black, I can and will deal with it.

8. Plan to participate in an epic dance-off with baked goods. Instead, just sit in a corner and stuff as many baked goods into my craw as possible, because why waste time dancing when there's a buffet?

9. Learn - yet again - that having an emotional meltdown almost always precedes some new opportunity. It's like a psychic colonic.

10. Never use the term "psychic colonic" ever again. That's just wrong.

11. Solve the Halloween problem forever by answering every Halloween costume- or party-related question with, "Why, yes! I'll be going as an invisible pterodactyl. It's a costume that works best when I stay at home."

12. Stop being a Halloween grinch and resuscitate my Evil Tooth Fairy costume circa 2006, where I wore a black glittery tutu with black glittery wings and brandished an enormous construction wrench with bloody papier mache tooth clenched between its vicious prongs.

13. Start a life list.

Check, check, check, and check.

Except for number 12. Papier mache is hard, yo.