I still don’t know what to do with feelings. I can admit it.
At 45 years old, I still don’t entirely know what to do with feelings, even though “knowing what to do with feelings” is part of my actual job description.
We all contain multitudes.
The problem with feelings - especially if you are the brand of human who has big ones - is that they can be inconvenient. It’s hard to tackle your to-do list in the midst of quivering rage.
This is an actual response I got to a newsletter workshop I did last month: “Your superpower is noticing the feelings around things, working with them, and clearing them.”
AND YET I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO WITH MY OWN ANGER AND DISAPPOINTMENT.
Aside from write a blog post and yell about it in all caps, I mean.
Also, this isn’t entirely true.
I spend a lot of time working with my own guidance and intuition - you kinda have to, when the way other people do things never seems to work for you (being a trailblazer is all fun and games until you realize you literally have to carve your own path out of the wilderness because WTF is everyone else doing?) - and this morning’s message from my intuition was to feel my anger and disappointment.
Cue: getting nothing else done. Thanks, intuition. My to-do list is mad at you.
How To Feel Your Feelings
According to me and the way I feel my feelings. Please comment with better ideas.
Admit that you have a feeling and should probably acknowledge it, before it crawls into your spleen, gets a mortgage, and never leaves.
Notice where that feeling is in your body and breathing with it.
Tell your partner you have The Feelings. Demand several hugs.
Sharpen a pencil and write three pages about your feelings, even though you start scribbling and making a mess at half a page in.
Shake it out like a kid having a tantrum when it starts feeling like too much.
Ask the ether for help and support.
Cry a little.
Get back to your to-do list.
We could sit here and pathologize my difficulty with feelings until the proverbial cows come home. Of note, the cows are not actually proverbial, because I live in Sonoma County, California (known for happy cows and also lots of chickens), and I can see cows on the hillside from my office window.
Or I could just accept that something about my nervous system, genetic makeup, and life has made feelings a bit of challenge for me, and continue doing the best I can.
It’s all any of us can do.
I will conclude by saying, Let yourself feel your feelings. Talking to the feelings, letting them out, breathing through them, asking them for messages will help you feel lighter and happier. The more you let your feelings breathe, the better you feel.
xo - Amber
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I made a thing to help you tap into your sensitive superpowers and feel better!