All those tasty, tasty comforts I put in my mouth - gone. Alcohol, caffeine, sugar, anything white and floury, anything ever produced by an animal. Unless a monkey really did pick my tea. What does this leave? Salad. Water. Whole bell peppers. An avocado, if I'm feeling frisky. What does this exclude? EVERYTHING DELICIOUS. Like large glasses of wine and delicious chocolate frosted morsels, morsels delivered to a table as I stare with such avid heat that when I finally rip my gaze away from its luscious brown curves, everyone's looking at me strangely and Lanny says, "I think that cake needs a cigarette."

Drea, me, Lanny, Raihanna, and the dessert I violated with my eyes.

The TV is gone too. This was hard for me, because my friends are in the TV. The TV was what I did after I was done working, what I did to relax, what I did to escape some of the realities of my life and...yeah. That's why I gave it up.

I'm on a take-everything-I-think-I-need-away-and-see-what's-left kick.

What's left is wrestling the brain hamsters into submission. Green juice instead of cookies. Unidentifiable grains instead of pasta. Baths instead of TV. Lots of yoga.

WHO HAVE I BECOME?

I've become super focused. I have a ton of energy. My creativity feels tangible again, rather than a haze squatting in the back of my cerebellum. I'm working steadily on projects that I'd avoided for months. I'm so busy that the only time I really miss what I don't have is when I'm watching my friends eat it.

Everything has gotten drastically better in the past few weeks, simply because I'm treating myself better. I think that's pretty much the only thing that could beat Friday Night Lights.

Congratulations, weird-ass hippy cleanse. You officially beat Tim Riggins on the score chart of Things I Find Desirable. Now sit still and try not to squirm while I stare at you lustfully.