Here's the thing about triggers: We all have them. And when one gets pulled, things explode. You know how it goes. We all have that gun that's pointed toward overspending the budget or being stood up or anything that might make us feel unwanted, unloved, or otherwise vulnerable. One trigger gets pulled by your friend on Tuesday. You're fine. The same trigger gets pulled by a coworker on Wednesday. You hold strong. The same trigger gets pulled again by a bank teller on Thursday. Smugly calm. Very same trigger gets pulled by the person you're dating on Saturday and your head explodes all over the living room wall. Whoops.
I've been working on dismantling my triggers - around money, around relationships, around my distaste for authority. (See: parking tickets and court summons and other things that go bump in the night and then blame you for the broken glass and slap you with a fine.) The second I think I've done my job and that thing no longer bothers me and I feel all smug in my personal growth, the trigger gets pulled again and I lose it to the tune of tears and ranting.
Really, I just need to give in to the inevitable tears and ranting the first time a trigger gets pulled and save everyone some time. The universe seems to like tears a lot more than it likes smug. Or maybe it just feels sorry for tears and wants to take smug down a peg or two. Hard to say.
Either way, I've been trying to let myself feel whatever I want to feel as soon as it comes up. Because if the trigger gets pulled by the wrong person, I can make a real mess.