Blogging Like It's 2006

When your partner looks at you across the breakfast table and says, “You aren’t being authentic” while you’re eating pancakes, it feels like a knife in the heart.

First of all, my soul is made of pancakes so I was as authentic as I could possibly be in that moment.

Second of all, since my authentic self has a wildly unhinged sense of humor and a lot of feelings - and I’ve been trying to keep a lid on a lot of that lately - I guess it’s true.

I’ve definitely fallen prey to some of those misguided “I am an adult and thus must be a perfect reflection of society’s construct of a responsible human” beliefs. Pro tip: Don’t do that. I’d much rather be a free range weirdo.

Our conversation about authenticity was actually in reference to my work and my writing. Since my job for the past number of years has basically been “help people get their shit together” (albeit in an unconventional way), I’ve felt like I need to have my shit together. Since I don’t have my shit together - at least not in the socially acceptable way - I haven’t wanted to talk about it, which has hamstrung my ability to communicate and share in the way I used to and really enjoyed.

I haven’t wanted to write about my real experience, because my real experiences don’t feel like something you can have if you’re also attempting to help other people. Yes, I hear all the things wrong with that sentence.

While I did have it together in the culturally-conditioned way - good job, paying rent on a house, etc - in my twenties, my older self has her shit together in a more real way. Less social currency, but more ability to function in a way that works for me and my brand of peculiarities. My older self is more, one might even say, authentic.

Maybe I also stopped because I thought I had to outgrow my weird, unhinged self the way I once thought I had to abandon cartoon t-shirts on the altar of being a mature adult.

Since I still wear t-shirts with llamas riding bicycles, maybe I get to reclaim my unhinged writing style. While I’ve become (arguably) more authentic to myself and who I am and what I want and need, my writing has become less so.

Really, I just want to return to the wildly unhinged blogging days of yore, when it was 2006 and we weren’t worried about branding or selling or SEO or anything much beyond LET ME TELL YOU WHAT MY DOG JUST DID. NOW I’M WRITING A RESUME FOR MY DOG. HERE’S MY DOG IN HIS BEST WORK ATTIRE, NOW FIELDING OFFERS and then posting a picture of your dog in a tie?

Remember those halcyon blogging days? I want those back. Because that style of writing was fun and endorphinizing and helped me write myself to answers, answers my current self could really use. It felt really true to me, in a way the current style - at least the style I’ve adopted - doesn’t.

I just want to write about my nonexistent dog in a nonexistent tie.

Whatever happened, most of my writing over the past few years has been sadly hinged, rather than gleefully unhinged.

Yesterday’s solar eclipse was smack dab over my midheaven - meaning, big changes are coming in my career. I’ve been feeling this for weeks - the chaos is real, my friends - and thusfar it seems to mean returning to the way I used to write.

Do we have to share all the messy parts of our lives in order to be authentic? That gong you hear is a resounding no from the universe. Do we have to be sanitized versions of ourselves to help other people? That’s another big no gong.

But here’s the thing: For whatever reason, I can’t get there. I don’t seem able to write the way I want to without sharing the mess in a way that I won’t do if I’m doing my current work.

Honestly, I feel a little betrayed by the fact that I’m not going to know what yesterday’s eclipse did to my career and writing for quite awhile yet. I want to know now. I want to know if the only way I can go back to being Unhinged Amber is to shut down my business. I want to know if I just need to scale way back so I have the time and energy and don’t feel the need to present myself in any particular way, but can still do the work I do love doing in many respects.

Or do I just need to find a job and focus on unhinged blogging and writing my books in my off hours?

I don’t know. But maybe if I keep writing whatever I want to write, those answers will come.

How You End Up with Ghouls in a Romantic Comedy

I finally finished re-reading the first draft of my novel! Good job, me!

This was something I planned to do in January, but may need to accept the fact that winter hibernation is real and I shouldn't expect too much of myself.

Now that spring has sprung - the grass is growing high and fast, the trees are blooming, and the cows are mooing - it seems my ability to do things has returned.

Aside from line editing and a confusing plot section where the goons switch to ghouls (?), I'm not sure there's much to do. At least until a few more people read it and tell me where the holes are.

Lots of writers ponder plot and characters and motivation before they ever start writing, but I just can't seem to do it that way. Whenever I try to outline, I immediately lose interest. My brain doesn't formulate anything until my fingers are already typing and following the story that's unscrolling in front of me.

This is how you end up with ghouls in a romantic comedy.

It's kind of like life, really. I mean, hopefully there are no ghouls in your life - none in mine, so far - but you just show up and start moving and see what happens.

If you stop moving, stop typing, things stop happening. And then the story gets really boring.

I wonder if the people who plot their books are also the people who can plot their lives. The kind of people with five and ten year plans who actually follow those plans.

I have never met a plan that I can't completely demolish within three months.

All I can do - in my books and in my life - is show up and see where the path leads and where I end up. Usually far from where I intended.

But, ghouls aside, where I end up is generally pretty good.

This was posted to my Patreon earlier today. If you’d like to follow me there, I’d love to have you! It’s where I’ve been doing more personal writing these days.

How To Get Writing

Your book is ready for you. The question is, Are you ready for your book?

If you aren’t ready to write, if you’re not feeling it, if you’re procrastinating, if you’d rather be doing other things, here’s how to dive into that novel draft (or any other writing):

Give yourself the time you need.

Feeling behind, feeling like there's not enough time, is a recording your brain made by listening to someone else. Your soul knows there’s plenty of time.

Unless you’re dying and you really want to finish the novel. In that case, just get to work.

Otherwise, give yourself some space. Don’t chain yourself to the desk. Let writing be a joy, rather than a task.

Let yourself feel your feels.

Whenever I experience writer’s block, it’s usually because there’s an emotion that’s clogging up the pipeline. Once I let myself feel it, the words start to flow.

Move your body.

Inspiration flows through the physical body, not just the mind. Do some stretches. Get on yoga YouTube. Go for a walk. Do any kind of physical activity that sounds good right now and see what appears.

Take a shower.

Showers always work for me. I step out clean and with either the next place to go in my writing or the understanding that now is not the time and I get to either rest or do something else. So helpful, that bathroom.

ASK FOR inspiration.

This blog post almost didn’t happen. I aim for both structure and inspiration in my business writing. (My current structure is an email to my list every Monday, a blog post right here every Wednesday, and a personal story on Patreon every Friday.) But I don’t like to force myself to write when I’m not feeling it. Writing is a joy to me and I don’t ever want it to become something else if I can possibly avoid it. Plus, forced writing rarely seems to do well or feel good to anyone.

However, no blog post was showing up for today. Hence, a pickle.

So I set the intention that the perfect blog post arrive in my brain with enough time for me to write it. I literally just thought, “I set the intention …”, and started doing something else with a big, fat “WE’LL SEE” rumbling through my uninspired brain.

Lo and behold, twenty minutes later, here I am. Typing up a post that arrived easily in my brain, and I have just enough time to press publish before I need to leave the house.

Thank you, requested inspiration, for un-pickleing me today!

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Want some help un-pickleing your writing?

I help writers bust through blocks and get their books onto the page!

Five tips to help you write your book

1. Stop judging yourself.

There is a time for your editorial brain to take over, and there’s a time to just let your fingers fly and let the story do what it wants. Write the first draft. Write the worst first draft that’s ever been drafted. That’s all you need to do. You’re welcome to judge your writing - but only after the final chapter is on the page.

2. Give me the whip.

So what if you didn’t write when you said you’d write? So what if you didn’t write as many words as you said you would? So what if your novel has taken approximately seven years longer than you thought it would? So what if you don’t have an agent yet? So what if you meant to be a bestselling author by now?

The ego is always primed and ready to hijack the creative process with desires and timelines and judgments. Desires and timelines are wonderful - have them, use them, play with them. But never at the expense of your own mental wellbeing. Any time you catch yourself being hard on yourself or your book or your process or your timeline - just notice. Catch yourself. Redirect your thoughts to the next step or something that will bring you joy right now.

No more flagellating yourself.

3. Your book already exists.

Your only job is to show up and write it.

4. Writing a book is a long game.

All you ever need to do - all you ever can do - is take the next step.

Show up to the page today. Edit one chapter. Spend thirty minutes on your proposal. Reach out to one agent. Take the next step - and the next and the next - and you will have a finished book that has found its home in the world.

5. Taking care of the writer is taking care of the words.

You aren’t required to chain yourself to your novel. If you can’t find any motivation or inspiration today, take care of yourself. Ask your body what it needs. Ask yourself what you need to feel good. Ask yourself what would jumpstart your inspiration. And give it to yourself.

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I hope that helps as you write your book! Because I would love to see your book on the shelves one day.

Lots of love,

Amber

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Want support as you write your book?

If you’re stuck or ignoring your work-in-progress or can’t motivate yourself to start, this is your magic bullet. We can do a single session to get you moving or work together throughout the entire process of getting your book onto the page and into the world. Let’s unlock your writing genius together.

Is money a challenge right now? If you’d like a sliding scale option to work with me as you write your book, contact me and we’ll figure something out. (It’s really important to me to be available for those who want support, regardless of your financial circumstances. So I have a few sliding scale sessions available each month, as well as options for longer term work.)

If your financial circumstances aren’t what you want or need right now, the Daily Money Healings were designed for you. One month gets the momentum rolling. Two months can create major motion and change. Three months can land you in a new place with money. (And if you don’t currently have the money to join, please avail yourself of the pay-what-you-can option.)

How to Cure Writer's Block

I’ve been writing for over twenty years, and I’ve run into virtually every wall a writer can hurl themselves up against. Because writers need to write (or we go a little crazy), I have some ideas to help you avoid that fate.

How to Fix Writer’s Block

Since “Just start writing” is the most aggravating advice ever for any human who’s ever struggled to put words to page, here are five good ways to overcome writer’s block:

1) Set a timer for ten minutes.

Write anything that comes to mind.

Even if it’s just “This will be the worst rough draft in the history of first drafts. This will be the most terrible thing ever written. AND THAT’S OKAY.”

Most of the time, when I start writing utter nonsense without letting myself stop, something cracks loose. Something worthwhile eventually emerges.

When the timer stops, keep going if you’re in the flow. If you’re still struggling, give yourself permission to stop for the day. You showed up, and that’s all the muse requires.

2) Ask yourself what you need.

Are you hungry or thirsty?

Do you need a community of fun writers for support?

Do you need to clear your mind with a walk?

Do you need to journal on something that’s bothering you?

Is there something within you that wants to be seen or healed?

Whatever you need, make it a priority.

Taking care of the writer is taking care of the words.

3) Create a sacred container for your writing.

Blocking off regular time, whether daily or weekly, is the way to get those books written and those writing projects done. When you make writing part of your routine, the inspiration knows when to make an appearance.

Co-Writing with the Moon is a wonderful container for creativity, if you’d like to join us for weekly sacred writing space. Learn more and join here.

4) Write something other than what you planned to write.

If you’re working on a book and stumbling, try writing an email. If you have an important email to write, try writing something funny to a friend first. If your personal essay feels overwhelming, write a short version for instagram. If all else fails, write a haiku about the snail hanging out on your office window.

Get the writing flowing, in any way that feels fun in the moment.

5) Switch venues.

At home? Go to a coffee shop. In bed? Move to your desk. At the office? Take a short walk to shake something loose. On an airplane? You’re not a Charlie’s Angel, so stay put.

6) Get out into nature.

Take a walk, take a hike. Put your feet in the grass. Go visit your neighbor’s rose bushes. Sit under a tree for awhile. Whatever nature is available, get into it.

I hope this was helpful, as you banish your writer’s block!

Lots of love,

Amber

If you’re looking for accountability, community, and a place to help your creative genius fly, join CoWriting with the Moon! It’s sacred weekly space for your writing. Learn more and join here.