Fellow Early Risers Unite (Not to Take Over the World Or Anything But To Share Cacao Recipes)

Nothing is nicer than waking up in the cool dark of the early morning to make a fire in the fire place and read or write for awhile before the world wakes up. I turn on the classical radio station I’ve been listening to my entire life, and let the cats in or out, then out or in again. At least two - usually three or four - hot beverages make their way into my mug.

If you’re wondering how many hot beverages one can possibly drink in the morning, especially because I’m avoiding coffee right now (not because I want to avoid coffee, but because my poor, beleaguered adrenals demand it), allow me to share the mania. I drink two cups of winter support tea with elderberry, rosehips, and ginger every day during the cold months. I usually have some form of cacao, either the basic version tossed into the little electric beverage heater-blender thing that’s essential when you’re as devoted to hot drinks as I am or the fancy version with cacao, dark chocolate, maple syrup, reishi powder, cinnamon, and cayenne. Then of course there’s tea, I’m digging peppermint right now, bought loose from Petaluma Coffee & Tea Company. And finally, as a symbol that it’s time to start being productive, the herbal coffee substitute I make using Lizzie’s recipe.

I need a lot of quiet time to myself and so the early mornings are sacred. Not sacred enough to set an alarm or anything but my inherited body clock wakes me up between four and five am everyday, like it or not. This worried me for awhile, until my mom told me that my dad used to wake up at four every morning and my brother does too. She was the only one in the family who escaped the relentlessly early mornings. Whenever I manage to sleep until six or even seven in the morning, it’s like a choir of angels descends from the heavens to sing hallelujahs over my head while I revel in the fact that it’s light and I haven’t already been awake for three or four hours.

But that’s not what happened today. Today, I get a fire and cats and cacao and blogging before I start my day. Maybe tomorrow will be one of those wildly blessed days of sleeping til actual dawn. We can only hope.

How You End Up with Ghouls in a Romantic Comedy

I finally finished re-reading the first draft of my novel! Good job, me!

This was something I planned to do in January, but may need to accept the fact that winter hibernation is real and I shouldn't expect too much of myself.

Now that spring has sprung - the grass is growing high and fast, the trees are blooming, and the cows are mooing - it seems my ability to do things has returned.

Aside from line editing and a confusing plot section where the goons switch to ghouls (?), I'm not sure there's much to do. At least until a few more people read it and tell me where the holes are.

Lots of writers ponder plot and characters and motivation before they ever start writing, but I just can't seem to do it that way. Whenever I try to outline, I immediately lose interest. My brain doesn't formulate anything until my fingers are already typing and following the story that's unscrolling in front of me.

This is how you end up with ghouls in a romantic comedy.

It's kind of like life, really. I mean, hopefully there are no ghouls in your life - none in mine, so far - but you just show up and start moving and see what happens.

If you stop moving, stop typing, things stop happening. And then the story gets really boring.

I wonder if the people who plot their books are also the people who can plot their lives. The kind of people with five and ten year plans who actually follow those plans.

I have never met a plan that I can't completely demolish within three months.

All I can do - in my books and in my life - is show up and see where the path leads and where I end up. Usually far from where I intended.

But, ghouls aside, where I end up is generally pretty good.

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This was posted to my Patreon earlier today. If you’d like to follow me there, I’d love to have you! It’s where I’ve been doing more personal writing these days.

How To Use the Moon

If you sometimes feel weird and unmoored or exhausted and emotional without knowing why, I have a theory for you:

You’re sensitive to the moon.

We’re deeply connected with the movement of the moon, our planet, and the universe in a way that doesn’t get talked about nearly enough in our culture, unless you happen to follow hashtag moon on Instagram.

If your moods and energetic ups and downs often feel like a mystery, learning about the moon can be deeply supportive.

As a sensitive human and triple Cancer, I feel the moon big time.

When our friend the moon is in void, it can leave me feeling cranky and emotional and unsure of everything in my life. Because I know that the void moon can make an unsuspecting human feel uncertain, I took myself off for some self-care at the chiropractor and the coffeeshop during the last long void moment. (Which worked, until I spilled my coffee all over the front seat of my car.) When the moon came out of void, I immediately felt better.

When in doubt, blame the moon.

(Blaming things on the moon is one of my favorite activities even as I remind myself that I’m an empowered human and fully in charge of my own experience, no matter what the world and universe around me are doing. Recognizing what’s affecting us while also taking full responsibility for our lives is a balancing act.)

Now, the void moon isn’t always going to be a royal snit show of crankiness and questioning everything and spilled coffee. But if you’ve been over-extending yourself, the void moon and the water moon will make that very clear. In fact, that’s one of the only things that will be clear during the void moon - how well you’ve been taking care of yourself.

In order to harness the power of the moon to support yourself, your life, and your dreams, here are some tips:

How To Use The Moon

Working with the energy of the moon and planets deeply supports us in the ebbs and flows of life, especially in a culture that wants us to be flowing always and ebbing never. Moving with the moon supports us in resting and nourishing ourselves as much as it supports us in moving toward our goals and dreams.

Because the moon is so close to the earth compared to the other planets, it changes signs every two to three days. Each week the moon moves through a fire sign, an earth sign, an air sign, and a water sign - in that order. Some signs are best for rest. Some signs are best for getting things done. Some signs are good for chilling out. Each time the moon changes signs, it goes through what we call a void moon. Sometimes the void moon lasts a few minutes, sometimes it lasts an entire day.

Here’s a basic primer on the moon signs:

How to use a fire moon: The fire moon is the time for action. You’ll likely be feeling fiery and raring to go - especially if you rested during the previous water moon. During a fire moon, you will probably feel that zip needed to accomplish things you may have been putting off. If you run a business, it’s a good time to call people to action. It’s a good time to start things, and a good time to make massive progress.

Used wisely, the fire moons are a wonderful ally to your productivity.

How to use an earth moon: After the high energy of the fire moon, the earth moon offers a bit of a respite. The energy dips - you can still be productive, but you’ll want to do so by giving yourself rest and breaks and treats. During the fire moons, you maybe running hither and yon and knocking things off your to-do list left and right.

During earth moons, you can get things done, but you might be happier doing so huddled up in blankets the couch.

How to use an air moon: Air moons offer another rise in energy. You will probably feel chattier during the air moons - it’s a good time to talk, reach out to friends and family, share things on social media, and talk about things that are important to you.

There’s a lot of movement during an air moon, so this is another good time to get things done and move with speed and agility toward what you want.

How to use the water moon: This is a time to take things more slowly. To feel more than do. To rest and go with the flow and take it easy. If you’re in any phase of burnout, you’ll want to rest as much as possible.

If you rest during the water moon, you’ll have the energy you need to take advantage of the fire moon.

How to use the void moon: Don’t start things - especially fights. If you have a business, this is a good time to step back and do things behind the scenes. If you’re tired, this is a good time to rest. Otherwise, void moons are best for taking care of the more mundane aspects of life - laundry, grocery shopping, self-care. Self-care is actually one of the best things to do during this phase - get out into nature, journal, meditate, get a massage, read a book.

However you most enjoy taking care of yourself, doing so at this time can help you avoid feelings of uncertainty or discombobulation.

Using the moon to guide the rhythm of your days and your effort can be a beautiful way to regulate energy, heal or avoid burnout, and create in a way that is deeply aligned with your body.

How to Use the Moon To Rest

If you feel tired in your day-to-day life, if it feels like you’re heading toward burnout, these are the moments to pay attention to and devote to rest and relaxation:

When the moon is void, rest.

When the moon is in a water sign, rest.

When the moon is in its balsamic phase, rest.

Resting can look many different ways. Maybe you have the freedom to plan your time so that you can watch movies and nap during these moments. (Even if you don’t have that freedom, do your best to snatch all the rest you can during the balsamic moon, the three to four days before the new moon.)

Maybe these are the days to go to bed early or to not plan to do anything more than absolutely necessary. Maybe these are the days to tell your brain to take a hike when it natters on about your to-do list.

How I use the moon to manage my life

I love hearing about people use this kind of information in their real lives, rather than just reading the factoids. So here’s how I use the moon:

Before I start to plan my time each week, I take a look at my moon app (I use iLuna). I note what days are in what signs, paying special attention to the void moon. If I have any business-y things to announce or sell, I do it in the fire moon. I note where the water moons live so that if I’m feeling tired, I leave a lot of space to rest and take it easy on those days. If there’s a long void moon, I plan to stay away from work if possible and do life-y things if I have the energy, or rest if I don’t.

I do my best to take the three or four days of the balsamic moon off each month. I keep the balsamic moon phase in my main calendar, so I always know when it’s coming. For years, I would crash for about three days a month and have no idea why, because it didn’t seem to have any rhyme or reason. When I started paying attention to the moon, I realized, “Oh. Balsamic Moon. That’s when I crash.” So now I plan to crash - or at least rest with all my might - and it’s fabulous.

Paying attention to the moon in this way has helped me recover from burnout and use the cycles of my energy properly so that I can live my life in a way that feels good, rather than stressed and harried.

We’re re-learning how to replenish ourselves in a world that practically demands burnout, a world that wants us to be in full bloom all the time. Using the moon to guide your rest and your work is a powerful way to support your life, your work, and your dreams.

xo - Amber

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CoWriting with the Moon

If you’re a writer - or a person who has writing to do on a weekly basis: emails! journaling! sales copy! newsletters! - and would love to play with the phases of the moon in your writing practice, I’d love to have you join us in CoWriting with the Moon!

It’s sacred space to write in community. Dedicated time for your book. Reserved space to batch your content. A place to journal yourself to comfort and answers. Time to plow forward on your works-in-progress.

Whatever writing you want or need to do, this is the place.

“I got more done in this session than in the last two months combined!” - Phoebe

“I finally wrote a scene in a book that I haven’t worked on in months!” - Mikael

“Wow! I got so much accomplished. I will definitely be joining now that I know how fabulous it is.”  - Sarah

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

One of the best things about the internet is learning about what people love. What small thing they bought or found for free that has a big impact on their daily life. So here are some things that have improved my life enough that I want to tell you about them, yell them into the ether, just in case this is exactly what you’ve been looking for or didn’t know you needed.

(I’m getting paid to talk about none of these things. I just love them and use them daily - with the exception of the novels, all of which I have read a few times but not, you know, constantly. Everything is free or under $40.)

Work

I’ve been working for myself and from home for over a decade now, but it wasn’t until my friend, client, and baller writer Simone Paget told me about these two things that my routine really clicked in and my big dreams started moving forward.

Cave Day

Zoom co-working at its finest, showing up regularly for three hour work sessions gives form and a solid container to my work goals. Every day, I show up to my writing - random writing in the morning and novel in the afternoon - and this is how I get drafts done in mere months and also soothe the “OH MY GOD HAVE I DONE ENOUGH” fears that are prone to creeping in when you’re your own boss. (Yes, you have done enough. Even if all you did is lie on the couch, you have done enough.) If I show up for one Cave session a day, I’m a badass. If I show up for two Cave sessions in a day, I’m ready to declare myself queen of the world.

(If you sign up for their newsletter, you can get a free week of membership to try it out.)

Brain FM

While this harnesses brain science (or something), I mostly just tried it because Simone recommended it - and then I noticed how much I was getting done when I used it, and how effortlessly I dropped into a flow state, something that had been eluding me for [muffled mumble] months.

In the morning, I use it for a fifteen minute meditation session and then any time I’m working, I click over to focused work or light work or whatever I need and let it harness my brain waves to getting shit done.

(You can try it out for free for a few days to see if it works for you.)

Health

Abraham Hicks

Ever since I got slammed by some serious limiting beliefs plus anxiety plus insomnia plus pandemic, I’ve been working to re-wire my brain and tighten up my thought patterns, so I can use my brain for good instead of awful. Listening to Abraham Hicks has been one of the primary ways I’ve been able to shift things and get my energy flowing again. Youtube is stuffed with fifteen-minute segments of Esther Hicks channeling Abraham and it’s the best no-nonsense and often hilarious manifestation and life guidance I’ve ever heard.

(If you want to ask your own question, Esther is doing weekly livestreams here.)

Bluetooth headband

Because I have turned into my mother and only recognize and adopt technology ten years after everyone else (ask my mom about using an ATM in the ‘80s), I didn’t even know this was a thing until my boyfriend sent me a link. When I lived alone and woke up at 3 in the morning fueled by anxiety and insomnia, I could just turn on whatever I wanted and fall back asleep with Trevor Noah echoing through the room. But when there’s someone next to you, turning on Netflix in bed at 3:30 in the morning is considered rude. Listening with my ear buds was not ideal - the cord was obnoxious and the hard plastic of the ear buds was uncomfortable if I wanted to turn over. So finding a soft headband with bluetooth speakers - no cords! comfy on my side! can pull the headband over my eyes like a sleep mask! - was a legit WHERE HAS THIS BEEN MY WHOLE LIFE moment. And it was only twenty bucks, which is a life-changing investment I can fully get behind.

Using this headband is how I listen to the Brain FM meditations and Abraham Hicks and all the stand-up comedians that soothe my soul when I wake up at 4 in the morning and need to escape the workings of my own brain.

Elation tincture

Back before contagion was running rampant and we were all just hanging out together indoors willy-nilly, I would drive to San Francisco to visit my favorite healer who was studying acupuncture and Chinese medicine. She would stick me with needles and figure out the weird health issues that stump Kaiser and send me on my way with a paper bag full of Chinese herbs. She made me a blend for anxiety that I called my Chill Out tea. When we went into lockdown, I sent her a flustered email because I was due for more Chill Out herbs and everything was all STAY HOME AND STAY ALIVE. I wanted to stay alive but chilling out was also essential at that time. She sent me the link to this tincture, made from the same formula. Used daily, it has the same chill out effects, and I love it.

Fit On

I haven’t been to a gym in a really long time. I also can’t fit into half of my clothes right now, which is not my favorite thing because oh my god the laundry. This is the best free workout app I’ve found, and the days I use it are always better days than the ones where I consider walking to the kitchen for kettle chips or chasing the cats away from the lizards my exercise. (Both do count as exercise, but you don’t get to be quite as smug about it.)

Yoga with Adriene

Who doesn’t love Yoga with Adriene? She has the kind of energy you just want to roll around in and she’s a fantastic yoga teacher. She’s my youtube go-to any time I need some yoga.

Fun Things To Read

I just want to spend my life reading and writing novels. Novels that make me happy to be alive, that make me believe in love in a new way, novels that help the world feel delightful again. Here are a few that fit that bill for me:

Anything by Sarah Addison Allen. I read The Sugar Queen first and got hooked. Reading all her novels became my mission, one I’m proud to say that - with some help from Christmas gifts - I have accomplished.

The Bookish Life of Nina Hill by Abbi Waxman. Like Harry Potter, this book is mashed potatoes for my soul.

The All Souls trilogy by Deborah Harkness. If witches and vampires aren’t your thing this may not be for you, but there’s also history and magic and time travel and wine and libraries and many other wonderful things.

The Friend Zone series by Abby Jimenez. The third one comes out next week and I like these books so much that I’m calling Copperfield’s to ask them to set one aside for me, so I don’t make the trip and then have to cry in the romance aisle because all the copies are gone.

2020

2020 was the year I slammed head-first into “If you want to have kids in this lifetime, better get on it.” It was the year I learned what codependent means and how not to do it. The year I devoted myself to that memoir, while being consistently mad at myself for not also devoting myself to that novel. It was also the year I learned how to take care of myself in a new way, because insomnia and stress were wearing me down to a nubbin.

2020 was the year I learned to do my own nails. How to live with a partner in a new way. How healing it can be to bask in the sun for an hour or three. It was the year I started cheering small businesses for keeping their doors open, actually applauding them as we drive past.

2020 was a year of big internal shifting that will not be reflected on my tax return. A year I went deeper into lessons I thought I had already learned. The year I had to learn to trust again, after losing faith.

2020 was a year of a lot of things that none of us need explained in a blog post, but we survived and even managed to find bright pockets of joy along the way.

That, my friends, is a major accomplishment and we all deserve a big round of applause. So I’m giving us one.