Last week, we went to Mendocino to celebrate my 41st birthday.
Celebrating my birthday translated to eating lots of s’mores ice cream and wandering past Wild West-era buildings, cheerfully postulating about all the murders that probably happened there, like the morbid waffle cone-slurping ghost hunters we are.
But there were also things like fancy birthday dinners, massages, and the biggest bath tub I’ve ever had the pleasure of sitting in, courtesy of a hotel built in the 1880s that was definitely haunted. I also got to open a lot of birthday presents that delighted my hippie little heart. (Crystals and things you can set on fire featured prominently.)
Lately, I’ve been at loose ends. I know my work is changing, but I don’t yet know how. All I know is I can’t keep doing things the same way, which means I’ve torched all sources of income without knowing what’s next.
Doing it this way is recommended by no one.
Whenever we talk about it, I say something like “All I want to do is write books and blog about my adventures.” Which leads him to ask, “What have you written lately?” Which forces me to reply, “Nothing.”
My excuses for not doing what I want to do are legion. Even legendary. Usually revolving around money.
I can’t blog about Mendocino because money. (Lies.)
I can’t write a book without knowing what I’m doing next (meaning, know where money is coming from). (Lies.)
Not doing things because of money or lack of confidence has been my excuse since the dawn of time. Or at least the dawn of Sentient Me. I didn’t take the Rolling Stone internship in 1999 because I felt like I needed something that would pay me so I could afford my text books. I didn’t apply for the semester-long writing workshop with Mary Gordon because I was scared I couldn’t write fiction.
Twenty years later, those same excuses are still cropping up with alarming regularity. Which is just embarrassing at this point.
So it’s time to write.
Because it’s fun. Because writing has always been my desire. Because I’m always happiest when I’m writing regularly.
As focus is one of my biggest challenges (I have seven projects I really want to do) (SEVEN), I’m asking for the perfect project to catch my attention and imagination.
Because money always trips me up, I’m asking that the more I write, the more money shows up in ways that feel good and even fun.
Hey, it’s always good to ask for what you want.
In the mean time, I’M GONNA BLOG MY ADVENTURES (sorta) by telling you that Mendocino is a solid choice for a nice weekend of ice cream and coastline and bookstore cats. In case you’re feeling the need for a getaway adventure.
If you go, eat a waffle cone at Frankie’s (I like s’mores ice cream, he likes ginger), stare at the water, buy a book at Gallery Bookshop & Winkles, make sure to pet Catsby while you’re there (I couldn’t catch him), and let your soul drink in the coast of California.
Here’s to adventures and doing what we really want to do without letting our excuses grab the wheel.